To all the Procrastinators, Time-Wasters, and Doom-scrollers…

Here's why you constantly have zero motivation—and how to actually unlock it.

Heads up: This is a deep-dive article—about a 15-minute read—the culmination of about 7 years of research, and trial and error.

It gets to the root of your chronic lack of drive, motivation, and energy. Then it provides a clear, 5-step game plan to turn things around.

Still unsure if it’s worth the read? Expand to see what people said when I posted a draft on Reddit.

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Part One: Why You Actually Waste Time

You’re stuck in a rut.Apathy, lethargy. Entire days wasted away on Reddit, YouTube, or TikTok.

You find yourself procrastinating on virtually everything, coasting through life in a haze of mediocrity.This isn't the life you want. You're eager to break free—to work hard, to improve your lifestyle... to get fit, find a better job, start a business, pursue a creative dream—but for whatever reason… it’s just been impossible.The motivation to start, and more importantly, to persist, always seems out of reach.So… you decide to dig.You decide to see if you can uncover something that will 'unlock' your motivation and get you to stop wasting so much time.At some point you stumble on a viral TikTok video, hitting you with a promising revelation:

Your issue? You're simply adrift in life, lacking clear purpose and direction.You need to establish your WHYs behind the many WHATs of your dream life… until you do, you’ll stay stuck repeating the same patterns.Ask yourself: Why do you want to work hard and achieve your goals? Why is it so important? Why were you put here on earth?If you make all that SUPER clear... if you turn your answers into visualizations, vision boards, motivational posters, affirmations… then… YES! You'll start to feel a burning drive and motivation to achieve your goals."

So, you do all that.And for the first time in a while, you feel a flicker of hope and a tinge of eagerness to get stuff done.

Ready to take action, you open up a work program—but then it hits you.That feeling. That dreaded “ugh I just don't feel like it” sensation.You try to willpower through it, but not 5 minutes later, you're back on Reddit. Then onto YouTube. Then TikTok.By the end of the day, you’re just back. You’re back to your old ways. Back to where you started. Back to feeling like an utter failure.

What gives?

Inspiration vs Motivation

Here’s the deal.You're confusing inspiration with motivation. You're assuming they're essentially the same when really they're not.The word motivation has its origins in the Latin word for “to move”. Interpret this not as the will to move—that’s the domain of inspiration—but as the capacity to move.All that “why” stuff is important… but it’s the stuff of inspiration. And inspiration is the conscious intention to get your work done and achieve your goals. But you have plenty of that. More is not the answer

Motivation is the subconscious green light to expend energy on tasks. Without it, you are physically and viscerally inhibited to burn mental calories and get any work done.

Imagine this with a car analogy. Inspiration is pressing the gas pedal—and you might be flooring it if you have a David Goggins audiobook going.

Motivation, on the other hand, is the car's fuel injection system.It's located way deep in the engine such that you have zero direct control over it. It includes an electronic console that “decides” to pump and inject fuel to the pistons, which, when ignited, is what actually propels the car forward.

Now, I’m not saying it’s unimportant to get clear on your “whys”—a car won’t go fast or far if the pedal is barely tapped.I’m saying… your fuel injection system’s been disabled. It’s refusing to release any fuel when prompted to.And that there is your real issue. That’s what’s causing you to feel lethargic, uninterested and demotivated. That’s what’s causing you to procrastinate and coast through life. And that’s what need to fix before anything else.Here's a 4-Step process.

Part Two: How to Actually Get Motivated

Step 1: Don’t do the things that suppress motivation.

Us humans have serious survival needs. There’s the obvious stuff like food and shelter, but we also have psychological needs like love, intimacy, status, connection, and novelty.Back in the day, the cost to satisfy those needs was egregiously high. It took boat loads of effort, time, and risk. We needed to be enticed to do the work; to be rewarded after paying the cost—which includes relieving the discomfort of wanting and craving—otherwise we’d sit around and do nothing.We therefore evolved a motivation-to-reward neural pathway; a system that subconsciously drives us to take on tasks and missions; to expend energy and take risks; to put in hard work… all in the pursuit of survival-affirming rewards.

For the pleasure of food, you had to hunt.For the pleasure of intimacy and sex, you had to court and risk being ostracized.For the pleasure of status, you had to acquire resources and form alliances.All of which took a lot of energy. But the reward was always just worth it, meaning there evolved to be a tight balance between the reward and its cost.

But that’s all changed in a blink of an eye. With today’s vices, we trick our brains into perceiving that these base needs are satisfied with virtually no work or risk.For the pleasure of food, there's DoorDash.For the pleasure of intimacy and sex, there’s porn.For the pleasure of status, there’s social media.

For thrill and adventure, there are video games.For the gratification of acquiring knowledge, there's Reddit and TikTok.For the satisfaction of contribution, there's slacktivism and virtue signaling on Twitter or Facebook.

Every single one of our physical and psychological needs can be “met” through the shortcut of a vice—a consumable product that can trick our brains into delivering a reward via artificial or vicarious means.Today’s tech, food, and entertainment industries have left no stone unturned.
And with these shortcuts, the time-to-reward is milliseconds.The energy cost? A thumb swipe.The risk? Zero.Sounds amazing, right? In many ways, sure, our modern utopia of abundant, easy rewards is exactly that. Amazing. But there are side effects.We're seeing unprecedented rates of obesity, addiction, and mental health issues. Chronic procrastination and underachievement have become real societal issues.And without the frame of reference of what our lives were like before all these vices, we're left to blame it all on our apparent impulsive, lazy, and indulgent nature.But we weren't built for this world. You weren't built for this world.You, the real you, isn't lazy. You, the real you, isn’t careless. You, the real you, doesn’t lack discipline or self-control.You're just being cognitively impacted by vices. And you're not even realizing it.

The Consequences of Shortcuts to Rewards

We humans evolved in a world of scarcity. Conserving energy was a matter of life and death. We're thus super averse to expending energy without a really good reason.I mean, it makes sense.A lioness is not driven to chase a herd of aggressive gazelles if she just ate a giant zebra steak. An elephant is not motivated to walk for hours under a hot sun to find a new source of water and plants if his belly is already full. These animals know it’s time to rest, to chill, to veg.

So, what do you think happens when you spend the entire afternoon indulging your vices—consuming junk food, social media, video games, streaming content, porn—and experiencing all sorts of rewards? What message is your nucleus accumbens (the motivation center that guards the fuel injector of motivation) receiving from your parietal lobe (the area that processes sensory information)?

I know these regions of the brain communicate through electric pulses and neurochemicals, but I like to imagine them communicating via office memos.

As a result of this messaging, the motivation center will squash any request from your cerebral cortex (conscious mind) to use up energy.It just won’t let you do more work.It doesn't matter if your conscious mind is flooring the gas pedal, demanding the burning of calories.It doesn’t matter if your conscious mind is stressed and panicking about the impending doom of reckless procrastination. About the consequences of neglected projects, assignments, or final exams.It doesn't matter if your conscious mind is pointing to the potential for real, earned rewards that come from actual life achievements, rather than vicarious ones.Your subconscious—the electronic console responsible for pumping and injecting fuel—is utterly convinced that you’re surviving exceptionally well, and that you need to rest.

Doing the work is simply non-negotiable.

Unsupressing motivation

The take-away is this: consuming vices do more than just waste time. A lot more.There is a hidden consequence to indulging in vices.Vices lead to a short-circuiting of your motivation-to-reward pathway.

They lead to your near constant state of lethargy—to that dismal, “ugh I just don’t feel like it” sensation and mental state.And when when you don’t feel like it, you can’t help but waste even more time. It’s as simple as that.

So… Step 1 is to consume less crap.Delete stimulating apps.Set up website blockers, and screentime limits.Relax and unwind with less stimulating activities: reading, writing, creating, socializing, self-care.Just cut out the damn vices.

Step 2: Arrive at the proper mindset

I like to say that motivation is a cat.

It won’t come to you if you’re desperate for it; if you need it to come. You have to sit still for a short while and “pretend” like you don’t actually need it. Only then will it saunter over to you.In a word, motivation comes only with acceptance. You need to find acceptance of all that is now, right here in front of you, in this tiny sliver of the present moment.Understand: The motivation to change things only happens once you come to accept the way things are.It's a colossal paradox. But it makes perfect sense once you realize that the most productive people out there aren't motivated because they hate their lives and are yearning for change. They aren't riddled with unsatisfied needs and wants. They already feel whole and complete as they are; yet they also have a fire lit under them to work, hustle and make themselves and the world better.But coming to acceptance isn’t particularly fast or easy. In fact, if you manage to go through with Step 1, you’re going to be left with an attention vacuum that will quickly fill with the thoughts, feelings and emotions—worry, anxiety, regret, self-contempt, stress, depression, boredom—that you’ve been impulsively using vices to relieve and escape from.So, it’s going to feel like "the now" is anything but ok. It's going to feel like your life, as it is currently, is just not good enough to “accept” as is.Day 1, day 2, day 3. They’re mostly going to be tough (especially day 3 for some reason).Anticipate this.

Mindfulness is key in this. Mindful allows for you to detach from the experience. To observe your thoughts, feelings and emotions dispassionately; as if they are occurring outside you. As is they’re something you can ‘look’ at:

Hmm… there it is again. That feeling. That dark cloud of depression and hopelessness. I feel it right there in my gut. It's not exactly pleasant, but I’ll just sit and watch until it passes.Alright. Now here is boredom. And here is the idea to relieve that boredom with “5-minutes” on YouTube. Hello, you two. Glad you could make it. I’m just going to watch you for a while…

From there, from that detached observing state, it'll be possible to eventually come to a gentle acceptance of all that is. But this takes time.We’re talking days here, maybe a week or more… but it will happen.

Step 3: Start small with tiny amounts of willpower

You’re heard of the concept of tiny habits. It’s where you strip down and simplify a habit you want to take on until it becomes almost trivial to accomplish.One squat per day, when you want to be doing 50.One sentence written per day, when you want to be writing 5 pages.One line of code when you want to be programming an entire app.Starting small with fresh habits is essential.The trick is to just show up for the action, without forcing yourself to start right away.I can’t stress that enough.Show up for the thing. Sit and wait. Initiate the mindfulness thing. Then, see if a drop of motivation occurs to you. If it doesn’t, see if you can use a touch of willpower to nudge you forward.If it’s really not happening—if you don’t, as they say, have the spoons—just let it go, close things up, and come back later in the day, if not tomorrow.

Once again, never force yourself to work.

Step 4: Engage in self-care

Motivation—in the free flowing amounts you crave—ain’t free. It needs to be earned.This happens by taking care.First take care of yourself. Get good sleep. Cook and eat well. Exercise. Practice good hygiene. Learn, create, explore. Take the time for low-tech recreation, relaxation, and play.

Next, take care of others.Nothing nourishes the human spirit like doing good for others. It could be for your immediate circle, but also for your community, people of the internet, or the planet. Whatever floats your boat.Positive action leads to positive feelings leads to the desire to take more positive action.The more you do good, the more you want to do good.The way to beat a procrastination problem is by cultivating a simple and subtle desire to do the work—it’s not by cultivating the ability to force yourself or to be “more disciplined” or whatever.And that happens through self-care; through doing all you can to indirectly support and nurture your body’s fuel injection system.

Throughout: Be patient and self-compassionate

Self-compassion and patience is key in all this.The state of your subconscious has nothing to do with who you are as a person. You wouldn’t look at a Ferrari with a disconnected fuel injector and conclude it’s a terrible or slow car.So be ready to accept the fact that flossing even a single tooth might feel like an endeavor. Be ready for the grind of spending a half-hour without picking up your phone or opening up Reddit on your laptop. Self-contempt and criticism in this journey are neither helpful nor deserved.All this takes time.Motivation is cultivated just like a plant (last metaphor, I promise).

You need to gently place the seed in the right soil, give it a spec of nutrients and a splash of water—see the four steps above—but then you need to let it be, so that it can germinate, extend roots (which you won’t see for a while) and finally grow into a fruit bearing plant.You can’t force it.You can’t make it grow faster. Too much sun and it burns. Too much water and it wilts. To much neurotic pulling at the stem and—well don’t do that.Let it be.Allow time to pass.Take this time to mindfully explore your emotions and inner sensations and detach from them. Process all that needs to be process; all that you’ve been escaping from using your vices.Again, seek out some professional guidance and support to best make sense of it all.And above all, be compassionate with yourself when (and not if) you slip up.Remember: your subconscious is still programmed to believe it’s best way to survive is through vices. You have bad habits, and habits don’t break easy.The journey won’t be straightforward and easy. It'll take time, a bit of effort, and some good defenses (webblockers, environmental changes, routines, support) to override and then rewire this programming.But it can be done.Believe me, with enough time…It can be done.

Part Three: Sticking with Step 1

For some of you, the above 4-step process will be enough.You'll have taken in the true cause of your lack of motivation. You'll have a moment of clarity.

And you'll never go on Reddit or YouTube or TikTok ever again.The end....But for some of you, well... it just won’t work out that way.

That was me for the longest time.It's like I knew painfully well exactly what my vices were doing to my brain. I also matured out of most of them, so I didn't even enjoy them.And yet. And yet. I just had zero ability to stick with my promises to cut them out.

It’s just so damn hard, right? Breaking bad habits; breaking addiction to apps and websites... is just so incredibly difficult.

But, like, why?Why is it so hard?I mean, all it takes is to just not do the thing, right?Don’t do the thing that’s observably harming you.Don’t do the thing that’s keeping you from living your dream life.Don’t do the thing that’s keeping you stuck in a rut of mediocrity and depression.And yet, we still did the thing, time and time and time again. It makes zero sense.

I remember feeling this frustration to no end.I also remember seeking out solutions in self-help books, videos, and podcasts. Sure they were "inspiring" at times, but their advice never really went beyond “just stop” and "you gotta want it bad enough".As if I didn’t already know that. As if I hadn’t tried a thousand times with willpower or self-control or self-discipline or whatever.As a result, I spent over a decade utterly stuck in a rut. I just couldn't help repeating the same patterns over and over and over.It was a really dark time.

Why Self-Help hasn't worked for you

And then it hit me. It hit me why conventional self-help never brought me a workable solution.It's pretty simple really. You see, all the big-name productivity writers and gurus... they just never actually had this problem to begin with.They're society's Type-A high achievers—the kind of people who naturally got around to, you know, blogging consistently for years... long enough to get popular and land book deals.They never experienced chronic and unrelenting motivation issues—not the way you and I have.They don't know what it's like to know exactly what to do (and not do) to live a better, happier, richer life... and then do the exact fucking opposite.They don't know how to solve our problems with tech-addiction, because they never had a problem with tech-addiction.And that's the disconnect.

It took me far too long to realize this.And when I did, back in like 2017, I decided to pivot. I decided to seek the advice and methods meant to help an entirely different group of people—people who, I knew, were struggling with the same core issue I was. People who were intimately familiar with failures, frustrations, and harsh self-directed contempt...I began immersing myself in sobriety memoirs and addiction-cessation resources.That led me towards the fundamentals of human behavior—beyond what was rehashed in conventional self-help. I dove into evolutionary biology, neuroscience, and behavioral economics—fields that explained why we do what we do, not just how to do things better.I consumed everything I could find on the pursuit of pleasure and happiness, on depression and mental health, on mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy. Each book adding another piece to the puzzle.

At the same time, I knew I had to put what I was learning into practice. So I pieced together my own self-improvement system from scratch.Like any prototype, it showed early promise. But one aspect failed, triggering the breaking of another, until the entire structure collapsed.But here's the thing—I kept at it. After each failure, I'd analyze what went wrong, tweak the approach, and try again. It took years of this cycle—build, fail, learn, rebuild—until finally, through countless iterations, I homed in on a strategy that began yielding lasting results.

The Habit Reframe Method

In the fall of 2020, on a total whim, I decided to write out my method and post it to Reddit.
The response floored me—over 1000 upvotes, dozens of comments, awards, and a flood of thankful DMs. The method had clearly struck a nerve with people fighting the same battles I was.

Energized by this response, I posted several other methods and advice pieces in the months that followed. Soon, I launched a Substack, began hosting webinars, and created group programs to dive deeper with those who connected with my approach.Throughout this time, I had the surreal experience of watching hundreds of people not just resonate with my concepts but actually apply them and achieve tangible results in their lives.

Meanwhile, my own personal journey was reaching heights I'd previously thought impossible. With each passing month, it became increasingly clear what it truly takes to break free from the cycle of tech addiction and procrastination.
So I set out to create something genuinely different. I took everything I'd learned—from my own hard-won battles and from coaching hundreds of others through theirs—and distilled it into a powerful, actionable, and sustainable method.

THE HABIT REFRAME METHOD IS NOT YET LAUNCHED.Email simon@simond.me to get notified when it's ready.

• test - paid
• Test - free

The (new) Habit Reframe Method

Ready to break free from the endless cycle of time-wasting and procrastination? Ready to reclaim your natural motivation? Ready to finally stop endlessly dicking-around and start living the life you've always known you could have?Then you need the Habit Reframe Method in its newest and most impactful form.Here's what you'll get:

My clients have gone from spending 6+ hours daily on mindless browsing to building businesses, writing books, and reconnecting with what actually matters to them. One person told me: "After 15 years of trying different methods, this is the only approach that's stuck for longer than a month."You can get started with a free 7-day trial, then it's just $19/month - about the cost of a pizza, for a system that could completely transform your relationship with technology, productivity, and yourself.But before you dive in, you need to know 2 things first:

I want you to be absolutely certain this works for you. Like, I don't want you to pay a dime if this doesn't lead to tangible results.During your free trial, you'll get:

Cancel in 2 clicks if it's not working for you—all without spending a penny.

I too hate how everything's a subscription these days. That's why I've structured this differently:

The subscription format simply allows me to offer the free trial (Stripe's rules, not mine) while ensuring you get permanent value from your investment, regardless of how long you stay.

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